Well, at least the first sentence is true.
I don't yet know my schedule for the final week of flying. The schedule is made, and I only need to call and ask them to tell me, but I can't do that, because I can't talk. Frustrating indeed.
My glasses need desparately to be cleaned. Poor things, I don't take very good care of them, what with wearing my contact lenses most of the time. Of course, sometimes you can take sympathy for inanimate objects a little too far.