24 July, AD 1998
I. The party of the first part (here-
inafter referred to as Erica),
on completion of tasks
explained in part II by the
party of the second part
(hereinafter referred to as
Joanna), agrees to give Joanna
the items catalogued in part III.
II. Joanna agrees to get Erica
out of and away from this friggin' house
III. 8 pennies (eight) and
1 #2 pencil (one) [drawn
on a piece of paper.]
The signatures of the two involved parties are at the bottom of the document.
The thing is, I vaguely remember having a picture of a #2 pencil, but I have not the slightest idea why this was part of the payment. And why 8 cents, for that matter? Where did we go? Why did we need a contract?
If you ever had any doubt that this family was weird, let this evidence put an end to that.