Everyone else is doing it, why can't I? . . .
Why would I tell Santa about any of these? Aside from the tire one.
This year I've been busy!
In March I ruled Canada as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In February I gave forgetress a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In August I helped elf_owl hide a body (-173 points). Last month I pulled over and changed chiroptera's flat tire (15 points). In June I bought porn for psychephage (10 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-853 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!
I'm surprised that I only deserve a moldy sandwich! At least I've demonstrated that I'm a loyal friend. And a surprisingly tolerant girlfriend.