I know that just thinking "I really ought to be eating healthier food and snacking less" isn't enough. But when someone comes by my desk and brings me a plate of the cheese tortellini in cream sauce that was left over from the Managers' Meeting, of course I'm going to eat it. Even at 3:30pm, and even when I'm not yet hungry again after a fairly sizable lunch. To make myself feel better about this, I remind myself that I had the veggie plate for dinner last night instead of a quesadilla.
I am tired (still? again?) and glad that I have no plans for this evening. I will read in my bedroom while the washing machine runs and I will hopefully go to bed early.
I'm not going to be at work this Friday. I wish I had a fun reason for this, but the truth is that I have to go into Annapolis to answer for the ticket that I got weeks ago when I apparently passed a schoolbus that had its lights flashing. I'm sure I did it, but I have no memory of the bus at all. I was lost and running late and concentrating so hard on reading street signs and not turning the wrong way down a one-way street that it completely failed to get my attention. And now I have a choice of paying a hugely massive ticket and taking points on my license, or going into court and hoping that they will pity me and lower the consequences. People keep assuring me that I'm bound to get a lighter penalty once I explain: "I have been driving for ten years and never even been pulled over before. I was in a city in which I'd never driven before, trying to find the Habitat for Humanity site at which I was meant to be volunteering. I was lost and stressed." Stuff like that. And I'll go and I'll look pathetic and I'll say what I have to say, but GOD I don't want to. Sigh.
Part of it is that I don't want to be the center of attention in a situation all about pointing out what I've done wrong. Part of it is that I feel weird about acting like I don't really deserve to take the consequences of my own actions. Part of it is me thinking that they won't change the penalty at all, and I'll have used up a vacation day for a completely unfun process that could have been avoided by me mailing in a check.
Good god. Someone just brought me a cookie and a mini pumpkin muffin. There's too much junk food in this office!