Indiana Joanna (khakipants) wrote,
Indiana Joanna

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grey tuesday melancholy

As of yesterday, I have been back in the States for three months. That's a quarter of a year. Saying that, or typing it, it seems like such a long time. And on one hand, I feel like it can't possibly have been that long already. But on the other hand, it's fading. The immediacy of having been on the other side of the world for a full year- now it's just something that I've Done. For a year, I was a Traveler. Then, I was Recently Returned. Now I'm just someone who did some traveling one time.

And I miss it already. I miss the experience of travel, of meeting new people all the time, of deciding each day what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. But also I miss New Zealand itself. Lots of the backpackers that I met saw the country as just another on their list of destinations. They could cross it off and move on to the next. But, maybe because I was there for so long, or because it was the first place that I got to experience independant traveling, I think I really formed an emotional connection to New Zealand.

Yes, it's good to be home with the people I love and having everything I own in easy reach. It's good that I don't need to pack all my belongings in a bag that I can carry on my back. I am earning money and eating right and I work inside a warm building where I can sit down. But I haven't walked on a mountain or watched the waves on the ocean in months now, and that's just not right.

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