As is that last sentence.
Anything else worth relating about this past weekend? Well, Saturday evening I was left alone in the house for the first time in ages, so of course I used that time for productive activity. Um. No. I baked a frozen pizza and I watched movies. I watched Sliding Doors and Shrek. Erica came home toward the end of Shrek, hungry and wide awake, so I made way more popcorn than two people could possibly eat in a year, and allowed her to choose what to watch next. She picked The Emperor's New Groove, a silly silly movie that I am not proud to own but that I always enjoy immensely. I'd say it was a pretty good night.
So that was pretty much my weekend. Movies and golf. Speaking of movies, Rohini, we need to go be piratical. Arr.
Moving on . . .
Tuesday July 8, 2003
I woke up Tuesday morning when I heard my phone ringing in the next room. I ran in to the living room just in time to miss answering a call from my mom. She left a message telling me what she and Erica ate for lunch. At this time I also discovered a message from Erica from the night before, asking to borrow my car. But it was too late, because she'd needed it for that morning. (I'm of the opinion that she should have just taken the thing, but I guess that my sister is too polite.)
Once Laura and I recovered from the sudden wakening, we walked to a place called "Buffalo Witches" for lunch. We sat at a picnic table on an outside patio. It was a weird plastic-type table, entirely holes. The result was that a person wearing shorts would stand up with big circles all along the back of her legs. I was wearing shorts. It was joy.
I ate an astoundingly huge "half" of a roast beef and brie sandwich. It was very good, but I can't imagine ordering a whole sandwich, as I was unable to finish the portion I got. I also got a bag of jalapeno potato chips, which were . . . well, spicy is too tame a word to apply to this food. Suffice to say that Erica's head would have exploded. They were mighty tasty, but it's not something you want to eat without a large supply of refreshing beverage on hand.
After lunch, Laura had to go to work. While I was sitting in the house, I had phone calls from first Erica and then my dad. (I guess four days is the length of time my family can go without hearing from me.) I cleaned up the kitchen, because clean dishes are good and because it made me feel useful. I then walked the few blocks to an "internet convenience store", where I spent $1 for an hour of computer time, and spent pretty much the entire time reading my friends list. You guys write a lot!
Back at the house, I listened to a random tape from the audiobook of The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, which happened to be sitting next to the stereo. Just one tape. Luckily, I know the book pretty well, so I knew what was going on. At some point, I fell asleep on the floor. (This is a really strange thing for me to do. Or. Um. Not.) When I woke up, I was rather disoriented. I pulled myself together and read until dinner time. Once dinner time rolled around, I headed for the kitchen to reheat my calzone from Sunday. This meant that I had to turn on the oven, which proved more difficult than it probably ought to have done. I needed to light the pilot light, but I couldn't work out how to do it. The knob to turn on the gas didn't seem to be turning. I started to worry that I had turned it on without realizing, and that the house was slowly filling up with gas. So I went and opened the front and back doors. Eventually I got the thing started, but stayed nervous the whole time the oven was on. This is an example of Joanna successfully freaking herself out for no good reason.
This is where my notes end, but this had to be the night in which Laura and I went over to Grill in the middle of the night after she got home from work. I ate a grilled cheese sandwich and some fries, while she ordered coffee, a chocolate and strawberry milkshake, and some bacon. I have photographic evidence of this extraordinary meal. It was at this time that we met a woman who was to change our lives. She's running for President of the United States, and if she doesn't win . . .
Don't worry, she won't win. She gave us a packet of papers outlining her plan for the presidency, where she stands on many issues, and some personal history. It contains some of the most fascinating examples of creative spelling, punctuation, and grammar that I've ever encountered. Her ideas are amazing.
For example, she favors building bridges over all oceans and seas in the world, so that people can drive wherever they want to go. She advocates "the safely development of outer space". She is in favor of the death penalty in certain situations, such as "repeated brutal murders in which canalblism is involved." I don't know what "canalblism" is for sure, but it can't be good.
She either has two husbands, or one husband with two names, and he is/they are going to be the Ambassador(s) to nations such as Hawaii.
This document provided joy for the rest of the week. I don't have a copy, or I'd share more of it with you. I think that there are some of you who would truly appreciate it for the masterpiece that it is. Laura and Mariah can vouch for me.
Anyway, that's the end of day four. It seems, looking back, to be centered around meals. I wonder if it was just a foodcentric day, or if I wrote it that way because I'm hungry. The world may never know. Stay tuned for the rest of the week, for which I'll have far less detail because I didn't write anything down! How exciting!