"Get with the program, Joanna! Pain," it says, "is the new black!"
"But I'm already wearing the old black!" I respond. "And I don't think it goes well with this new look of grimacing whenever I touch something."
"Whine, whine, whine. New and exciting fashion statements are always met with opposition at first. Just you wait. Pain is in."
I can only hope that my other nine fingers remain traditionalists and refuse to join Left Index in its style revolution.